How far are you all in TSW? For the first 6 months it’s constant sores and complaints, but I wish the future TSW warriors who should have gathered and collected enough research and materials to guide them through TSW will know roughly what to expect, though everyone’s healing process is different, but generally, you are expecting some shitty times and no matter how bad it gets, keep faith that it does get better. Don’t lose the battle. Remember why you started!

10 Months 2 days, day 306 (12 May)

Wow 10 months in! 2 more months and 1 year off steroids! Things are a lot less painful nowadays, physically and mentally. I try hard to just keep busy with life and ignore TSW almost. It has been successful too in some moments… or days even. See, I don’t even remember, I don’t even document my TSW in detail these days because it’s less important in my life, and it should have never been the focus of my life aside from looking forward to healing and allowing myself to rest for healing.

I still have no eyebrows and I just wished I had eyebrows so I don’t look so… rude? lol. It just looks weird without eyebrows and I can’t be bothered “drawing” some in because I know I will just scratch it off. I keep thinking that if I have eyebrows then I don’t have to wear a hat, but then there’s my hair… it’s like sticking out there all the time LOL I can’t wait till I get a decent amount of hair back in my hairline so it’s just be… normal looking. It just a bloody vanity issue really. Fuck I just wanna look normal again. Will that ever happen…. Sigh…

We did a McDonalds birthday party for my boy’s 3^rd birthday this weekend. It turned out awesome. I was super stressed with everything going on prior to the party. it was also a LAST MINUTE arrangement as I didn’t wanna do anything EXTRA but then my husband and I couldn’t pass our guilt, so we did a party in the end and I’m glad we did. It was just a small party, but the kids had a blast at the playground. I was so happy to see them go crazy! My husband and I were almost dead at the end of the day tho. And for once the boys slept pass 7am the next day wooop woopp :P

Nowadays I don’t care as much about what others think, I look forward to the day where I actually share my blog more publicly with my friends and family, and not worry so much about being judged by people who I know personally or see often. At the moment, not much people actually know about my condition or this blog. Sometimes I ask myself, why aint I sharing it now? Guess I still have insecurities. It’s just I haven’t fully healed yet and I think people might not believe me. I feel like I don’t have enough evidence.

Things I’m still doing consistently:

• Shower 3-4 times in a week
• Dr F lotion inconsistently, maybe 4 times a week on face only its’ cos I only apply it after I shower to a clean face
• Using CFO on face 1 days
• MW on all body parts
• Still millions of dead flaky skin flying around
• Face slapping :/
• Scratching: face and arms, occasionally: back of legs and neck (actually flaring just a wee bit, it’s again my junk food… I will stop this once thesis writing is over, promise :P)
• Mood: stressed with workload, but feel active and productive, and generally much happier.
• Sleep still taking Zopiclone + chamomile tea now. Zoplicone potency wearing off as I have taken it over a month. This was expected and I only intend to use it for 3 months in total
• Drinking TCM concoctions every other day now instead of every day
• Diet, I have cheese in my sandwiches now and then so that’s why I sometimes flare after the math of allergen buildup, I am moderately allergic to dairy.
• Think my skin might be reaching it’s stagnant phase soon….healing is happening much slower nowadays.

List of things I want to do after I submit my thesis!!!!!

• Eat, sleep and watch drama all day hehehe
• Cut my hair myself LOL that’ll be fun. I meant just trimming it really :P
• Throw out / donate old junk in the house
• Clean the house thoroughly
• Give away my boy’s outgrown toys
• BAKE!
• Finish sewing toys for my boys
• Sew new toys for my friend’s babies – so many Horsie babies this year!! My sis is preggies too :)
• Do my nails!
• Water fasting – yes!! Probably just a week or so
• Spiritual practice – meditation and chanting
• READ books!
• Document my skin history and TSW progress thoroughly
• Spend more time with family
• Enjoy life :D

This is so exciting hahahaha, this sounds like a list of to dos when I’m healed but I’m not even healed yet. It just proves that I can enjoy life much even when I am going through TSW! It’s my rewards list of accomplishing a big task :D

I say this because I think we don’t need negative energy swirling around. If we keep getting angry, it’s not use but if u believe that it is a wrong conduct, then take action to do something about it instead of just fucking complaining. Negative emotions and complaining in the air will get you no where

服務是一件樂事，也是人生最高貴的品格。Saw this quote today and made me see things positively. I always complain to myself and my husband that I’ve like a servant serving you guys constantly. But this quote says: serving is a pleasure, it is also the noblest characteristic that one can have.

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10 months & 3 days

Parents parents parents of babies and children going through TSW. I just have to bow at you all! The EXTRA shit you guys need to go through in facing the medical field and ignorant people. What a fucken war man! You are doing an AMAZING job, keep going!! x

I just took a shower and dried myself and walked back into my room. I remember why we takes showers now: to clean ourselves and to feel more relaxed. Ahhhh… I think I wanna sleep now :D

Came across people asking how long it takes to bloody heal in TSW. I found EczemaExcellence explaining it quite well:

One of the foremost doctors that has been involved in topical steroid research believes that it takes 10-30% of the time you used topical steroids to be fully healed.

This is tricky to think about, especially for someone like me who didn’t use them constantly for days at a time.  Does this mean 10-30% of the 6 years from when I first started using them?  Or 10-30% of the total time I used them, which would probably only add up to about a year?  It really has to be the first one, because if it was the second one, I could be mostly healed by now at about 3 months in, and I am not.

Therefore, it appears that I am looking at 6-18 months of healing time.  Another blogger I talked to who is much farther along in TSW than me has noted that the skin has 7 layers that the body has to repair, and you are looking at multiple weeks for the body to regenerate each layer.  So let’s say it takes 5 weeks to regenerate all 7 layers, then that would be 35 weeks, or close to 9 months.  This really makes a lot of sense, because let’s say you have very, very damaged skin and it takes 12 whole weeks to repair one layer.  Then that would mean 21 months (or more), which is an accurate timeframe that hardcore users have taken to be fully healed. Source: http://eczemaexcellence.wordpress.com/2013/04/18/tsw-85-days-thoughts-on-healing-time/

In that case I will hopefully heal near April 2015

Our 7 layers of skin:

There are three main layers if skin but there are layers within two of these layers. One of these layers is the epidermis; the epidermis is the top external layer and has five layers within that layer. The next layer is the dermis; the dermis has two layers within its layer. Then there is the last layer this layer is the hypodermis, the hypodermis is mostly fat and it has no layers within that layer.

The epidermis has five layers within that layer. The first two layers within the epidermis are called the stratum corundum and the next layer is the stratum lucidum, this is only in thick skin like the palms of your hands and the sole of your foot. Another two layers within the epidermis is the stratum gramnulosum and the stratum spiosum. The last layer within the epidermis is the stratum germinativum. These are the layers within the epidermis.

The dermis has two layers within its layer. The first layer in the dermis is the dermal papillary layer. The next layer within the dermis is the dermal reticular layer; this layer is the location of a lot of structures such as the hair follicles and the blood vessels. These are the layers within the dermis. [source: http://ourskinexpedition.com/do-we-really-have-seven-layers-of-skin/]

Problems areas now are: face, back of neck, tummy, arms, hands, back of knees THAT’S it! hehehehe

No time to take other photos but look how far I have come….