Angry. Upset. Scared - Atopic Cataract

A very emotion day for me today. I went to get my eyes checked today with a opathmologist. I was prepared to be advised I need surgery for the cataract in my left eye, but I was shocked to hear that I actually have cataract in my right eye too! The Dr put some drops in my eyes that would enlarge my pupils so he could check the back of my eye and the drops took about 20mins to be effective so I had to wait in the waiting room. As I was waiting in the waiting room, I was so shocked, upset, scared and angry I started crying, but there were so many people in the waiting room I tried to stop myself. It took me awhile to accept that I had cataract in my left eye at a young age caused by steroids and now BOTH my eyes are affected! I am so fucking pissed off at the Drs who never, none of them, all those bloody dermatologists, allergists, GPs, no one told me the risk of steroids affecting my eyes. They just kept giving me steroids. I feel so dumb and naïve, look at what I did to myself?

Well it’s not the end of the world of cos, technology is so advanced now; cataract surgery is one of the most performed surgeries around the world. The risk of anything bad happening in surgery and after surgery is low. I have booked cataract surgery for January 15th that was the earliest date I could get for my left eye. After my left eye recovers I will see how things go and decide to do my right eye. Most likely I will. Dr says I have severe cataract in left eye (I pretty much am ‘blind’ I only see white light) and moderate cataract in right eye. After calming down I thought I was actually very lucky to be in NZ, have the money (I have health insurance) and specialists to perform cataract surgery for me. I will have to wear reading glasses at the age of 30 after surgery tho. But no biggie. I will find some trendy looking ones :P I am much more determined to spread the word of TSA/W, because look at what the fuck steroids has gotten me into?!

Our skin is our largest organ and all these years I thought a cream/ointment wouldn’t do much harm, since Drs kept giving it to me, but all these years my skin absorbed all these toxins and spread it throughout my body through my bloodstreams. It’s sooo scary! Be very cautious on what you put on your skin, even moisturisers, it’s just so scary. I will really have to take good care of myself in what I consume and use from now on.

I’m dreading about if I have retinal detachment now, I’m so scared since I bang my face a lot. Please read Dr Fukaya’s post on Opathmoligcal complications from topical steroids: http://mototsugufukaya.blogspot.co.nz/2013/07/ophthalmological-complications.html

Warriors please go and get your eyes checked ok?! Especially if you have used oral/injected steroids and/or topical steroids near the eye/face. 

OK I better sleep and rest now, my boys are on holiday from tomorrow. Please be easy on mummy!
Happy holiday warriors and carers. Take care xxx ahfaye




-ahfaye-

Thank you for reading this post. I wish you great health, happiness and success in everything you do!

14 comments:

  1. Ahfaye, I am absolutely amazed at your resilience. Having to go through the suffering at that level without young children or the eye problems is one thing. But to have to deal with all of those together is so much more than one person should endure. I know this will take every bit of strength you can muster, but I also believe that you are capable of getting through it. I can't tell you how much you inspire me. I'm at day 423 and I'm still struggling. And although my days are much better and my night have a few hours of unbroken sleep I still have several hours a day of being uncomfortable. I want to let you know that your story and your detailed account of how hard it is for you gives me so much motivation to deal with my moderate challenges. I hope it helps knowing that you are making a difference for fellow sufferers. And probably will for many years to come as long as this blog is available for others to see. I would like to share something with you that might help a little. Since this is an open forum, you can find me on Facebook and send me a message if you like. I'd love to hear from you. I hope you find a little relief soon dear.
    Cory Zyromsky
    Ontario, Canada

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    1. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement Cory! it's really tough aye, but what can i do? nothing but just be strong and strive on. i cannot not look after my children and family right? in a way they have made things better in keeping me active. I just watched Josh's video (http://redskinrecoverydiary.blogspot.co.nz/2013/12/a-christmas-message-to-help-tsw-recovery.html) and he say keeping active is important. and because I have no choice but being active in looking after my family I have healed pretty fast in general i think. I'm not half way thru month 6 yet and sleep is starting to improve, i'm not oozing now and generally not so depressed. I thought i will be in a shithole for a year! but things aint that bad now, so i'm trying to stay as positive as I can. thank you again and yes i really do hope my blog will help TSW sufferers. xxx

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  2. So sorry to hear of your eye troubles ahfaye. I shall be thinking of you and wish you all the best for your upcoming surgery/ Hugs xxx

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    1. Cheers Miss Kitty! surgery went very smooth doing my other eye tmr!!! Hugs xxx

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  3. My husband had cataract surgery in July and had implants put in. His vision was great but he had one eye that was little lower in seeing than other so we had dr. correct that. It went fine. Then he said that my husband should have eyelid surgery with sling because he had droopy eye and this would really improve his sight. So he did and also at same time Dr. lifted the other eyelid by muscle surgery.

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    1. hi Jacqueline, yes cataract surgery is very simple. i was just freaking out a lil tho haha just cos the drs were a lil surprised as i was so young to have cataract. i hope u n ur husband is fit and healthy now. xxx

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  4. Oh my gosh- I am contemplating going through and commencing my topical steroid withdrawal process. I am so happy that I found support through your blog! We are living parallel worlds... I stopped using ointments a little over 6 years ago when I had my first cataract surgery on my R eye at 26 years old. I suspected it was the prolonged use of corticosteroid ointments, because outside of eczema and allergies, I have no other health issues. I was, like you, SOOOO ANGRY. I only lasted a few months before I was diagnosed with a second cataract in my L eye, became angry again, and basically was like, oh well, what else can happen to me if I go back to using corticosteroid ointments? So I started back on it, for comfort. :( Not good, I know. Anyhow, the second cataract on L eye took much longer to "ripen," as they say. My cataract surgery is scheduled for this Thursday, January 9. I've been through the surgery once before, but it's still scary, and the whole thing still angers and frustrates me. Another thing- I had a cataract that began developing over my R eye's artificial lens and had laser surgery a week ago to break that up. That's what has made me want to be completely steroid-free. I don't want this to continue putting my eyesight and livelihood in jeopardy. Anyways, enough about my story- I am so excited to read your blog posts/entries and learn about your journey. You are inspiring!

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    1. OMG Stephanie how r u have u started TSW? omg can't believe steroids can blur new artificial lens too! scary man! i hope u goign on if u're started TSW it's a tough journey but we are all here for u. share ur story on ITSAN they are great. pls keep me posted xxx

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  5. You are always in our thoughts and prayers ... thank you for your updates and please let us know how the surgery went.
    xxx

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    1. thank u so much Andriette! how u and Eden are well! surgery went very smooth thank u :) xxx

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    1. hi sunny, i have emailed you :) hope your brother is better now

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  7. Hi Ahfaye, I too am in tSW recovery and have recently have been diagnosed with a rapidly developing cataract and have surgery scheduled...i'm wondering, did you have to take the steroid drops in your eyes afterward? Did they affect your TSW? Thanks,
    Kelly

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  8. @Anonymous Hi Kelly, sorry to hear about your cataract. Glad you have surgery booked and will be sorted soon. I did use the steroid drops as my ophthalmologist said there is risk of infection after surgery and in my case where my face was completely wounded I had a higher chance of infection so I needed to use the steroid eye drops if not I may get an infection which he will then give me oral steroids -_-" but yeah the eye drops had little effect on the TSW progress I think. I did get the drops on my skin around my eyes and it actually cleared up my TSW symptoms a bit! I used the drops in both my eyes (as I had cataract in both eyes) for a total of 5 weeks. Generally the drops are used 4 weeks but my ophthalmologist told me to use it for 5 weeks to be safe and I reduced the frequency of usage 2 times a day instead of 3 times as I was scared the steroids would rebound after I stopped - it didn't though. Hope this helps all the best for surgery Kelly! xxx

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